Monday, April 26, 2010

Re-live the experience (that I had).

1. Airline-grade pillow graced by the indentation of Michael Jordan’s head (signed by me). Burnin’ up eBay as we speak. Start your bids.

2. Top-of-the-line coffee mug ordained with the photo of MJ and myself in the midst of the friendship bond. Available at Enjoy. (P.S. You’re welcome.)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Power Sales Triangle Tee!

Consulting with MJ (Michael Jordan, the real one) got me in a fresh headspace with my business endeavors. He was impressed by the triangle, which you’ve had the benefit of learning from previous posts. So I blessed this shirt with it. You can’t let wisdom like that go to waste. Wear it. Learn it. Live it. Get one here:

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Think of your best day. Mine is WAY BETTER.

I didn’t see it comin’… but it came. I sat next to a great man on my flight today. The one and only Michael Jeffrey Jordan. Just relaxing, conversing like kings. Making a connection. He’s a First Class dude and so am I. I’m still on a high. But I’m over the initial excitement because when it comes down to it… he’s just a man, ya know? As am I. Me and His Airness just happened to be cut from the same cloth. Literally. We were both sportin’ our Lay Flat Collar undershirts. (Snapped some pics on the cell. It’d be a shame not to share ‘em.)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Countdown to Sydney Carpet Show

Tomorrow’s the day. Flyin’ out for the “land down unda” for the world’s biggest international carpet show. Only the top seller gets to go to Oz. (Tidbit: Oz is what Europeans call Australia.) No rookies allowed on this trip. Let’s do this. Let’s carpet the globe!

I love Sydney and Sydney loves me.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I’m Boycotting Sushi

Five reasons:

1.) There’s just no reason for it to even exist.
2.) It doesn’t keep.
3.) Sodium
4.) Chopsticks. (Why??)
5.) Found out I’m allergic.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

“Carpet Man” by Rick Bulifant

So I got a little song I’m working on…
(I’m thinking prog rock or alt country genre)
Melody’s not worked out yet,
but the lyrics are solid gold.
Goes a little something like this:

Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

I’m the padding when you fall
I got your back from wall to wall.

Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

Make your life so soft and sweet
Put your toes all over me

Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

I’m your plush soft touch’n daddy
Why you walk all over me…

(Repeat chorus)

Self Portrait - Workin on a sweet solo that goes after the second chorus

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Minneapolis Hates Carpet

Had a huge sale lined up in Minneapolis last week. Guy wanted three dancehalls carpeted with Mohican Burr. Done and done, right? No. Zipped up to meet him with the Burr already en route—dude backs out. Sale botched. Trip botched. Rick gives Mini-Apple a disappointing 1 out of 5 Golden Swatches.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Power Sales Square Triangle

REVISED: Look good. Feel good. Sell good.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Power Sales Square

Little somethin’ I’m working on. Look good. Feel good. Sell good. Congratulate Yourself.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Tools of the Trade: Edible Center Pieces

Nobody wants a boring boardroom. You break the ice, you eat a little sweets that you thought were just fake flowers in a basket. Gets laughs. Sells carpet.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Scottsdale hates cheesecake.

‘Cause you know what? I can’t find a decent slice anywhere in this town. Woulda been a nice top-off to last night’s sale. D-I-S-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D. (sp?)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tools of the Trade: Sample Booklet

Show me a successful carpet man without a reliable sample booklet and I’ll show you a liar… by holding up a mirror in front of your face (but not in a mean way). Like the Kraken,* both are myths. A carpet man needs a booklet. Period.

*In this case I'm referring to the mythical creature the Kraken. My buddy who's a lawyer wanted me to put this in here so no one would confuse it with any products or services like say an energy drink or malt liquor or something. Granted, the guy went to law school online but he’s rarely wrong about this stuff.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My gift to you. (contd.)

“To lay down carpet is to lay down foundations of prosperity, comfort, and
decreased foot noise for downstairs neighbors, if applicable.”
-S. Daniel Shantytown, Carpeter (circa 1963)

“I will carpet the globe.”
-Rick Bulifant, Carpeter (circa just now)

Monday, January 11, 2010

My gift to you.

Having been hand-picked by the carpeting and flooring bigwigs to represent the company at the Sydney Carpet Show, I figured it was time to open the knowledge chamber and let a little of what I’ve been stockpiling and fine-tuning all these years spill out a little.
World, I give you my blog.